Ladies and gentlemen, great news!
A brand new, state-of-the-art national theatre has been unveiled right here in Nigeria. It is grand, glamorous, and more popular than any venue we’ve ever seen. Forget about the old National Theatre in Lagos with its 1970s charm—this one is shiny, ever-evolving, and open 24/7. It’s none other than Social Media, Nigeria’s new national theatre! 
This theatre is unlike anything we’ve ever built before. It has no physical structure, no need for tickets, and yet, it’s the most crowded space in the country. Everyone—yes, everyone—gathers here. From politicians to celebrities, pastors to regular folks hustling for their daily bread. Here, the jokers are not on stage—they are in the comments section.
A Glamorous Digital Stage
Here is the thing: the theatre of social media is a dazzling display of lights, colors, memes, and hashtags. Its “entrance” is just one click away. The curtains never close, and the performance and drama never ends. Every post, tweet, or TikTok video is a fresh act in the ongoing drama that we can’t seem to look away from.
The seating arrangement? Well, let’s just say it’s standing room only because there’s no limit to how many people can gather in one space. The theatre is accessible to anyone with a smartphone and some data, and once you’re in, there’s no telling what kind of spectacle awaits you.
Instead of red carpets and velvet seats, we have the glittering notifications of Instagram and the fast-paced threads of Twitter. The glamorous “actors” are your favorite influencers, celebrities, and, of course, the politicians who pop up every now and then to drop a statement or throw shade.
In this theatre, nothing is too serious to joke about, and nothing is too ridiculous to take seriously. People gather here every day—sometimes multiple times a day—to watch, laugh, argue, troll, and engage in what we might call the Comedy of Distraction.
A Place for Jokers, Trolls, and “Experts”
The beauty of Nigeria’s new national theatre is that anyone can be an actor. Yes, even you reading this! You don’t need talent, just opinions—preferably loud ones. And here, every act has an audience. The theatre has a special spot for those who always know better—self-proclaimed “experts” who have never studied law but are experts on court cases, or the ones who failed math and economics in secondary school but can calculate Nigeria’s national budget down to the last kobo.
Jokers, trolls, and armchair critics alike gather in this theatre to lend their voices to everything under the sun. Today, it could be Wizkid and Davido in a brand war over Puma. Tomorrow, it might be Bobrisky versus the EFCC. Or maybe Speed Darlington will suddenly become the nation’s political consultant. Whatever the issue, people rush into the comment sections as if their very livelihood depends on it.
And the best part? No one really knows what they’re talking about half the time—but that doesn’t stop the performance. In fact, it only makes the show better. The less informed you are, the louder you speak. It’s the unspoken rule of Nigeria’s national theatre.
A Theatre of Distraction
While other nations are investing in real theatres of development—innovations in technology, education reforms, tackling pressing social issues—Nigeria’s national theatre of social media thrives on distraction. It’s a theatre where no one asks hard questions because we’re too busy cracking jokes and skits. And honestly, why deal with real-life problems when there’s a hilarious meme to share or a fresh fight to analyze?
But here’s the twist: this theatre, for all its fun and humor, is becoming a dangerous distraction. While we gather in the comment sections, cheering, trolling, and debating over the most trivial matters, the real issues—the things that matter—are quietly slipping by unnoticed.
Our politicians are having the time of their lives! Why? Because while the masses are busy watching skits on Instagram, or fighting online battles for celebrities, they are busy looting the country’s wealth. They know that as long as we remain distracted, they can keep siphoning public funds without resistance. We are too busy gathering at this digital theatre to notice that the nation’s future is being auctioned off in broad daylight.
The Illusion of Engagement
At first glance, it looks like Nigerians are more engaged than ever. Social media allows people to voice their opinions, right? Wrong!
What’s happening in our new national theatre isn’t real engagement—it’s noise. There is a difference. We’re talking, commenting, and retweeting, but how much of it is moving the needle? Are we holding anyone accountable? Or are we just venting our frustrations into the digital void?
The real issues—poverty, unemployment, insecurity, corruption—are lost in the middle of social media noise. The jokers are running the show, and the audience can’t tell where the act ends and reality begins. We are distracted by the spectacle, forgetting that the actual performance is happening offstage, in the corridors of power, where decisions are made that affect our lives.
The Price of the Show
But every show comes at a cost, and Nigeria’s new national theatre is no exception. The price we pay is our future. While other countries are working hard, investing in education, technology, and infrastructure, we’re busy laughing at Instagram skits and arguing over Twitter threads. We are living in a country where “content creation” has become the top career aspiration, while real sectors of the economy crumble.
Young Nigerians are incredibly talented, but instead of channeling that talent into innovation or nation-building, it’s being poured into TikTok dances and viral challenges. Meanwhile, the politicians—our true masters of ceremonies—are getting richer, and the country continues to lag behind.
The saddest part is that we’re not just watching the show—we’re part of it. By staying glued to our screens, we are complicit in our own distraction, allowing ourselves to be entertained while the real story unfolds somewhere else. And the longer we stay in this theatre, the further we fall behind.
Time to Exit the Theatre
As amusing as Nigeria’s new national theatre may be, it’s time we recognize it for what it really is: a distraction. Sure, social media is fun, and yes, it gives us a platform to laugh, joke, and vent our frustrations. But it cannot be the center of our lives. The comment section isn’t where real change happens. It’s where we go to kill time while avoiding the serious conversations that need to take place.
It’s time to step out of the digital theatre, if only for a moment, and start looking at what’s happening in the real world. Let’s leave the jokers on stage for a while and take a hard look at the issues we’ve been avoiding.
After all, if we’re not careful, this theatre of distraction could become the setting for a national tragedy—one in which we laugh all the way into disaster.
And as they say in the world of theatre: “The show must go on!” But maybe, just maybe, it’s time for a new kind of show—one where the audience wakes up and realizes that the script needs to change.
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